Whats most notable, of course, is that they put their trust in God in their relationship, having faith in Him that He would bless them with a child even in their old age. We put everything in the context of Christ. That leads me to how OCF has influenced my life. May the Lord bless each of us as we employ these standards! We date because we want to find someone who wants the same thing. Say the Jesus Prayer. Sts. Talk about spiritual things with your OCF friends. Were confident the issues we unpack will lead to great discussions with you and your significant other to lay the ground work for a healthy, thriving marriage for years. Know this, once St. Xenia has entered into your life, shell likely be around for the rest of it, and she is known for often answering prayers veryquicklybe prepared(I know this not only from many stories I have heard from others, but from my own experiencemy first daughter is named for this amazing saint because of her constant intercessions for us). Not only are you setting yourself up for a giant lack of humility, if that person really isnt your equal, you could be setting yourself up for a difficult marriage.

He has written numerous articles on psychology and religion and published a book through Ancient Faith Publications entitled,Becoming a Healing Presence. PRAYERROOMS

She said she found someone and now is very happily married. I met my husband atan OCF retreat at Pennstate in 2007,wewere married in 2010,and wewelcomed our first sonin 2011. When it comes to getting married, most of our attention goes toward all the wedding planning, which is important! Sunday, 9:00am & 11:00am

Interestingly, when asked what college students want most in a potential mate, 85% of all those interviewed, males and females, say they are looking for a soul-mate. Yes, soul-mate describes what the search means for most red-blooded American college students today. As I thought about this question and how to answer it, I couldnt help thinking about my own college experience and my life now as a wife and mother. She cried and fussed. Yes, you are busy, but you set your schedule. 2022, My OCF Story: Presbytera Stephanie Petrides, hungry to feed, naked to clothe, sick to care for, Supporting OCF Chapter Spiritual Advisors. Biblical marriage is a covenant union ordained by God to give Him glory and to bless mankind as man and wife live in surrender to His will. by A Guest Author | Nov 11, 2015 | Guest Post. Why Should I Be a Member of a Local Church. It is Better to Light a Candle than to Curse the Darkness. If you feel weigheddown by the burden of your academic load and its demands, remember the words of Mother Gavrilia of blessed memory. So, there is no near perfect soul-mate for us to choose. Alexandros, Presbytera Stephanie, and their two sons, Niko and Chris.

We only need to pray and stay open to the Lords guidance. As a fellowship of believers in service before the Lord, we at Candlelight Christian Fellowship believein and promote marriage as a publically recognized, legal, and life-long commitment, between oneman and one woman. Many of the people derided her as an insane homeless person, but she bore their insults while praying unceasingly for the people of St. Petersburg.

We date because we want to find someone to love, cherish and give our soul and body to. She or he didnt show us these characteristics when we were scoping for a soul-mate. Protecting yourself from giving away too much of who you are (and Im not just talking sex) too quickly can help you strengthen a relationship over time if itisthe right one. My friendships, beginning with a long friendship with Father Hopko, came through Orthodoxy and my wifes influence. We date because Christ made us that way, to grow-up into Him, to have the peace and the joy and the happiness that we all want. Marriage extends beyond our lifetime. Pray.

Their children are likewise blessed as they are nurtured in the faith and admonition of the Lord. So, why do we date? Keep marriage in mind, but dont overdo it. Memorize your morning and evening prayers. Our marital partner is our sandpaper who will smooth our rough edges by making us more loving, more in the likeness of Christ. Those OCF friendships that I began forming that week carried me throughthe rest of my college experience. Marriage is eternal. Our children are a gift from her. I graduatedfrom Gordon College in 2008 with a degree in English and Secondary Education andI taughthigh school for ashort time before attending Holy Cross Seminary for one year. It was trying, to say the least, and I kept feeling like I was spending more time attending to my daughters (perfectly age-appropriate) needs and struggles than I did experiencing Pascha. We also agree to follow through with post-marriage follow-up and counsel as needed. Do something with it. And with that, here are a few saints who can help you along the way: Icon by the hand ofDn. OCF played such a crucial role in strengthening me in my faith during the challenging college years and in fortifying me to go out into a world that does nothing but attack and challenge everything that we believe. To help us determine where to best focus our efforts when it comes to the topics covered and content we provide through this marriage ministry, please take a few minutes to complete our Marriage Interest Survey. She is dead for 23 years but more alive to me than ever. But as I stood in church alongside all of these other college students, as I sat in discussion groups and listened to them asking questions, and as I got to know somany of them and their stories, I felt so encouraged in my faith. We date because it is a God-given adventure, an exhilarating and sometimes terrifying risk into the unknown. So Im telling you a little about the season of new marriage and new family life, assuming that many of you may soon join the ranks of nine-to-five work, diaper changing, and mortgages, to challenge you to see the season of your life you are innow, your college life, as a season of peace and preparation. But at CF, we want to come alongside you to not just prepare for a wedding, but a lifetime of marriage. Up to that point Ihad a handful of Orthodox friends at church, some from camp, a few from my college, but it was hard not to feel a little alone in my faith. Today we present the first of three installments by Dr. Albert Rossi answering students questions on dating, marriage, and relationships. Joachim and Anna, the parents of the Mother of God, were both from important Jewish lineages, St. Joachim being the descendant of King David and St. Anna being of the tribe of Levi, the tribe of the priesthood. I need to start where I always start, by saying the fundamental Orthodox truth, Christ is everything. They prayed to God for each other and for a miracle to be worked in their lives. There are amazing joys and huge spiritual blessings in being married and having childrenfrom the everyday joys of hugs and kisses to the bigger joys of seeing my kidsgrow in faith and learn to love. I encourage you, especially during Lent, to see college life as a time of freedomand as an opportunity to till the ground of your heart so that prayer can blossom forth in preparation for whatever the next season of your life may hold. How do we balance academic studies with prayer time? We date to look for a mate, a lifetime person to walk through life with. Pray for guidance in finding the right person and help to navigate your relationships when you get into them.

No matter how many times yiayia asks you when youre getting married and making babies, hold out for the right personthe person whomakes it easy to love, forgive, and live a life of faith. Believe it or not, nowis probably the closest youll get to monastic peace and silence while you are young short of joining a monastery for good. Along the same lines, avoid datingsomeone you see as a fixer-upper. Its not good if you think you needto save your significant other or be a missionary via dating. In the midst of everything that is going on in college, I know that many of you are probably also thinking about getting married or pursing romantic relationships. When we are dating we are scoping around for someone who fits our notion of soul-mate. In this series, My OCF Story, alumni share their experiences from their time in OCF and its impact on their transition and life in the post-grad real world. Icon by the hand of Dn. Copyright Orthodox Christian Fellowship all Rights Reserved. She is the healing presence in my life. Inmy spare time (which isnt much),I help run our Moms & Tots groupat church, Im involved in the PTO at my sons school (which isalso our parishs school), and Itutor to keep my foot in the door with education. She was a young married woman, living somewhat carefree and never really thinking about her soul when her young husband died suddenly after hed been out drinking with his friends. UGH. Joachim and Anna (September 9). I knew only two of the 200 or so students who were attending so I was a little nervous. Dr. Rossi teaches courses in pastoral theology at Saint Vladimirs OrthodoxTheological Seminary. But being surrounded by so many other Orthodox young adults who were also striving to live a moral and faithful life in the midst of all of the temptations ofcollege life,I felt an overwhelming sense of support and community. A little advice: Take your time to find the right person. Go to as many services as you can. Within reason. All the good that I have in my life came through my wife. by Christina Andresen | Jun 10, 2015 | Popular Blog Topics, Staff Reflection, Supporting an OCF Chapter. The pastors of Candlelight, in harmony with the counsel of the elders, will only perform weddings for members of the church who are in good standing, who have finished the assigned pre-marriage counseling with its associated assignments, and who are faithfully attending services at the church. In my own limited experience, at least with small children, this doesnt always leave lots of still, quiet time for still, quiet prayer. Now, dont get me wrong, I amnotcomplaining about being a mother and wife. Taking the time now to invest into the health and future of your marriage might be the most important thing you can do before your big day!

Dating can be a tough scene for us Orthodox Christianslets be honest:there are not that many of us, andthere can be a lot of pressure from family to make something work or to choose a particular kind of person. The point of this blog is not to tell you how to find peace and prayer in the married life, but to help you know how to make time for prayer while youre a student. A search for a soul-mate approach allows us to define our partner. Christ will provide the perfect person for us to marry. We believe that the church is Gods chosen vehicle to equip our marriages and families to be all God designed them to be. Our culture has a 51% divorce rate that I think is founded on this self-centered version of marriage. Therelationships that I built from all of these OCF events and programsare the people that I have relied on over the past almost 10 years. Each of these seasons, if we are open to Gods grace working in them, can bless us, challenge us, teach us, and perfect us. It is a picture and model of the relationship Christ has with His Church. The woman brilliantly suggested Sts. I look back upon my college years now with gratitude, thanking God that I had a spiritual father who expected me to do something spiritually productive with my time and friends who were struggling on that same path.

Pray to her as you are considering who to date and whether or not he or she is the right person for you. Edit Your You are being blessed in this season of your life with a kind of autonomy that you didnt have as a child in your parents house and that you will not have again, at least not in the next season of your life.

St. Xenia(January 24) is known for helping people with the things she herself lost or gave up in her own lifetime: a spouse, a house, and a job. I hope youll all forgive me, but today Im going to share a bit of personal experience in response to a student question. In her own life, she was granted the gifts of prophecy and great prayer.

Of course, thats hard. Your spouse should humble you with theirfaith and devotion, they should have spiritual gifts you admire, especially ones which you feel like you lack. Learn the hymns of the Church. We need to pray and stay open to His guidance and grace. We decide if you fit into our life, our way. Forall of the retreats, programs,but most importantly the people OCFbrought into my life, I am forever grateful. Morning Worship Bulletins and Worship Times, Jazz Vespers: A Unique Worship Experience. So why am I telling you all this about kids and marriage? This is what they mean by married people being tied to worldly cares. Members of the pastoral staff at Candlelight agree to provide and promote biblical counseling designed to prepare couples for marriage prior to performing the marriage ceremony. Fr. Provided for all Sunday Morning Services*, 2022 Candlelight Christian Fellowship All Rights Reserved Contact Us, The Triune Nature of the Godhead The Trinity, The Distinction Between Israel and the Church, How to Share Your Faith without an Argument, Honorariums, Special Offerings, and Ministry Development Funds. Look for someone better than you. Matthew Garrett, used with permission. One thing is education: that we learn how to love God. I am a convert to Orthodoxy through her.

Matthew Garrett, used with permission. Shocked, Xenia ran from St. Petersburg, returning eight years later as a homeless wanderer. I was blessed to have a wonderful OCF at my college where we did daily morning prayers, weekly meetings, andfrequent dinners and get togethers. The problem is that no matter how perfect a soul-mate the person might seem to be, if we marry we will find out that this person has serious flaws we didnt anticipate before marriage. May He allow for greater and greater ministry opportunities as we faithfully serve one another in Jesus name! When we reduce the field to three or four potential soul-mates in our mind, we date to find out which one truly fits our idea and definition of someone for us. The word I use as a substitute for soul-mate is sandpaper. Oh, this is why people become monastics. Not to mention the crazy way the world often treats relationships as means simply to fulfill our own selfish desires.

Read Scripture and spiritual books voraciously. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. And bymysenior year ofcollege, I was alsotraveling every other weekend or so to attend other collegesOCF retreats all over the northeast and sometimes beyond. Make time for prayer and silence. Should a Christian Attend a Same Sex Wedding? Website. A few years ago on Paschamy first one as a momI spent most of the night struggling with an almost one-year-old who didnt want to sleep and didnt want to be awake. Let me tell you a story. Well, for everything there is a season, and many people have reminded me that our lives have many seasons, some full of peace, others of turmoil, some full of joy, some of sorrow, some full of rest, othersof activity. But, arent good things usually hard to go after and find? They are theoneswho encouraged me in my faith,who helped me through difficult situations at work, andwho stood up with me at my weddingnot to mention that I met the man I married at one of these OCF retreats And it is because of all this that I also encouraged my sister and sisters-in-law to get involved in OCF and now, as a presbytera, the local college students at our parish. I would also say that your job is to become a person whom someone else can find, someone who loves Christ more than the potential mate. My dream is to work at or help start an Orthodox School someday. (423) 349-0600 One time a married woman said that, when she was dating, she was looking for someone who loved Christ more than her. After getting married, I went back to workto help put my husbandthrough seminary and was thereuntil my husband graduated and was placed at a parish in Bethlehem,PA. Our second son was born about 6 months after we were placed and Iam now a stay-at-home mom with my two sons, ages 4 1/2 and 1 1/2. We date because we are looking for love, exclusiveness, and commitment. If there is a resounding please-dont-marry-this-person coming from all directions, chances are, somethings not right. Presbytera Stephanie on Real Break El Salvador. Here at Christ Fellowship, we want to help cultivate and support Christ-Centered marriages, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit so that married couples, soon to be married couples, and families can walk in freedom and strive to mirror, Gods covenant relationship with His people. I would submit her approach to dating as an approach that works. The purpose of dating is to look ahead to marriage, to find a person who will love our children and us in a Christ-like manner. Dr. Rossi has a brief, biweekly podcast on Ancient Faith Radio titledBecoming a Healing Presence.

Make space in your life for Godwhile you are in this season of your life, a season in which, glory be to God, your most pressing worldly cares are your final exams. The icon of them embracing each other depicts a pure and devoted love that we can hope to imitate in our own (eventual) marriages. There is something especially blessed about teaching children to pray, even if it means you have to stop every thirty seconds to remind a three-year-old what word comes next or, more likely, that its time for praying, not for playing. Marriage and child-rearing offer constant opportunities to put our faith into actionthere is always someone hungry to feed, naked to clothe, sick to care for, and lonely to comfortand there is lots and lots of room for lots and lots of repentance. That is what dating is all about. My most remarkable memory of OCF was atmy first College Conference. Monday-Wednesday, 12pm Thursday, 6:30pm, Contact Us Yes, we date with the question, Am I going to marry this person? present in our minds and prayerfully in our hearts, but, especially when you are first getting to know someone, you dont need to rush to that conclusion. But it is also true that the married life carries with it many unavoidable worldly cares that the monastic life does not bearbills and budgets, kids schooling and activities, jobs, family obligations, keeping house, the many-headed hydra that is laundry in a house with children, noiselots of noise. She didnt want me to put her down, and she didnt want me to hold her. Trust your parents, your priest, and your peers. And in a world where everything is focused on making money, getting ahead,and earning degrees,awardsand recognition,OCFhelped shift my focus and reminded me that my vocation should be centered onwho I am (an Orthodox Christian),not what I am.

Ask the important questions. He is a licensed clinical psychologist in the state of New York. Well, I hope I dont burst any bubbles by suggesting that I dont agree with the idea of soul-mate. Soul-mate is, for me, fundamentally a narcissistic term, making myself the arbiter of how I want you to be.

My doctorate in psychology came as a result of her suggestion. She was hungry and cranky. I attended four College Conferences, served on the Student Advisory Board [now the SLB],and did Real Break El Salvador. Every season will have its something that Satan will try to use against us to keep us from seeking after our Lord and falling in love with Himright now, its probably homework.

We are eternally married. Main Service Pray for your future spouse, even if you havent met them yet. We are all fallen sinners, children of Adam and Eve. If you feel like you are dragging a person behind you in any way, but especially spiritually, this is not the person for you. I would now ask you to pause and listen to my wife singing The Wedding Song. Husbands and wives enjoy the blessings intended in marriage when they obey the Scriptures, and live together by faith in the Lord Jesus. When it comes to looking for the right person, St. Xenia is known not only for bringing together godly people but also for saving young people from bad marriages. (423) 349-0800, 2022 Christ Fellowship design | INTELLITHOUGHT. I once heard of ayoung couple who had just started dating and were asking a married woman they considered a spiritual mentor, To whom should we pray for our relationship? They wanted to know who might help them discern whether this was the right relationship and who would help them remain pure in their intentions and their actions as they got to know each other. We date because we are made that way, to be vulnerable and stretched. by Christina Andresen | Mar 3, 2015 | Staff Reflection. by A Guest Author | Sep 21, 2015 | Guest Post. Constantly. There are no upcoming events at this time. This ministry exists to do just that.